i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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