Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
