i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
