I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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