Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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