I only kidnapped one of them. chill
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
