so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
