saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
