Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
