just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
