Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
