It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
