well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Couch. On fire.
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