Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
