I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
love makes seman taste better
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
