you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
