we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
