Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
