I have demons in me.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
