scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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