First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
