At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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