Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize