in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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