I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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