remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
