your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize