im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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