My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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