I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Randomize
