Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
