just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
