Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
