return my video game
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude i'm inner monologue high
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
