I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
