Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
