East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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