The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
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