I just cut my nipple shaving
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Boobs are out for the taking
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
third nipple confirmed
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
