Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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