My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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