Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
