69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
