The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
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I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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