I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Me too!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
