I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
