dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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