Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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