That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
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If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
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I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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