Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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