dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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