I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
