i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
