It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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