He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
