Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
