belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
