I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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