i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.