Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable