FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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