idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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