At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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