I wanna passion pit in your ass
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
