please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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