Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
